don't be afraid, okay?

i'm afraid for the end of the semester. 
when all of you will know who i am.
some of you already do.
i don't know how,
but that's okay.

i'm afraid of my own bones. 
i'm afraid that one day i'll fall while holding a knife and it will cut deep enough for me to see my bone.
and then i'll picture myself as a skeleton.
and that leads to thought of all those bodies in the ground.
right next to that graveyard you live by.

i'm afraid of drowning.
but i still swim.
i don't know if that counts as being brave,
or just being stupid.
but the absolute freedom i feel jumping,
and just chillin' in the air,
pretending that i am a bird
is wonderful.
the freedom i feel outweighs the fear.

and that is what this life is all about, right?
the freedom i feel jumping into the air
helps me deal
with how close i just came to inhaling a bucket of water.


but the freedom,
it allows me to dream.
and that's worth it.






stay gold,
suzy e.